Scripture is clear that the Lord designed men to lead. They are called to be the heads of their families (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:22­–24). They are given the leadership of the church (1 Timothy 2:11–14; 3:1–2). They are expected to fill positions of leadership in a society (Exodus 18:21; Deuteronomy 17:14–17; Isaiah 3:12).

In marriage they are to be as Christ is to the church: provider, protector, and head (Ephesians 5:22–24). Thus, Jesus becomes the perfect role model for the husband as leader of his family. Wives are no more to be co-providers and co-protectors with their husbands than the church is to have such joint roles with Christ. The wife is to flourish under her husband’s provision and protection. That is God’s ordained pattern.

Leadership is perhaps the foremost distinguishing feature of masculinity. Both the leadership role men are called to and the qualities necessary to fulfil that role are integral to biblical manliness. While there is certainly variation in ability, God created men to be leaders in some capacity. Therefore, men ought to strive after the characteristics that make for a godly leader.

The disciples frequently required instruction on the issue of leadership. Their idea of true greatness—of what makes a great leader—needed correcting again and again. Worldly ideologies warped their perception of what a leader ought to be, as they often do for us today—even in the church.

For the disciples, those misconceptions showed on the day James and John requested positions of prominence from Jesus (Matthew 20:20–28). This incident gave Jesus the opportunity to address the issue of leadership in a memorable way. And the lessons He gave then remain valuable to all men today.

How Not to Be Leader

The first lesson Jesus taught was not to lead by political power plays. That is a typical avenue for the great men of this world to make their way to the top. They network to make connections with the rich and famous, they wine and dine to establish relationships with those of influence. They are flatterers and schmoozers. In fact, one of the most common tactics for getting ahead has been using the influence of family and friends to one’s own advantage. They manipulate those close to them in order to gain political office, a promotion in business, a lucrative contract, or whatever else they crave. As the saying goes, it’s who you know that counts. 

That kind of approach, to some degree, is reflected in James and John’s attempt, by way of their mother, to persuade Jesus to give them the highest places of honor in His kingdom:

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Jesus with her sons, bowing down and making a request of Him. And He said to her, “What do you wish?” (Matthew 20:20–21).

Their mother was a close follower of Jesus, and as an older woman, they probably thought she would elicit more sympathy than they would. It may even be that she was the sister of Jesus’ mother, in which case they were attempting to use this family relationship to their advantage (cf. Matthew 27:56; Mark 15:40; John 19:25). Regardless, they were maneuvering to secure a favorable outcome.

Not only that, but they employed a couple of other moves to gain the desired answer. First, they asked Jesus to grant their request before revealing what it was (Mark 10:35), like a child shyly bringing an outlandish wish to his parents. They were essentially asking for a blank check. Second, they came to Jesus bowing before Him, probably trying to appeal to a sense of power and royalty they thought He might have. At that time, kings often took pride in having the resources to grant requests, so perhaps this was a way to manipulate Jesus to answer them positively (cf. Mark 6:23).

There are all too many men in the church who lead in this way. Rather than men of integrity who know what they believe and live by it, we see men with a character as fluid as it needs to be to get what they want. Rather than men of impartiality who do not regard others according to the flesh (2 Corinthians 5:16), who do not defer to the rich or the poor (Leviticus 19:15; James 2:1–4), we see men sidle up to those of power, influence, and wealth in order to gain some worldly benefit from them (Jude 16). This is an abomination to God and must not be so among believers (Job 32:21–22).

Second, don’t lead with self-serving ambition. This attitude is clearly seen in the demand of the two disciples’ mother: “Command that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine may sit one on Your right and one on Your left” (Matthew 20:21). The request was purely self-seeking. As their mother, she could bask vicariously in their exalted positions, and her own prestige would be greatly enhanced. As for the sons, their request of Jesus was not only bold but brash. In effect, they were claiming that, of all the great people of God who had ever lived, they deserved to have the two highest places of honor beside the King of heaven.

Jesus answered the two brothers directly: “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” (v. 22). The three had no idea of the full implications of their request. The cup that Jesus was about to drink was the cup of suffering and death, which He had just finished describing to them (Matthew 20:18–19). Jesus was saying, “Don’t you realize by now that the way to eternal glory is not through worldly success and honor but through suffering?” The one who has the greatest glory beside Christ in heaven will be the one who has faithfully endured the greatest suffering for Him on earth.

Either because they completely misunderstood what Jesus meant or because, like Peter promising never to forsake Christ, they self-confidently thought they could endure anything required of them, James and John foolishly declared, “We are able” (v. 22). And just as Peter denied the Lord three times before the cock crowed, those two brothers, along with all the other disciples, fled for their lives when Jesus was arrested (Matthew 26:56).

The third principle we find here is not to lead by dominant dictatorship. At this moment, Jesus called all his disciples near in order to formally teach them about leadership. He began by saying, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them” (Matthew 20:25).

Virtually every government of that day was a form of dictatorship, often of a tyrannical sort. The world seeks greatness through power, epitomized by despotic rulers of the Gentiles such as the pharaohs, Antiochus Epiphanes, the Caesars, the Herods, and Pilate—under all of whom the Jews had suffered greatly.

Though not in as absolute or destructive form as those, the same philosophy of dominance is found in modern businesses, Christian organizations, and even families. Many men in leadership positions cannot resist the temptation to use their power to lord it over those under them. They all share a common worldly desire to control others. Peter therefore warned Christian leaders against “lording it over those allotted to [their] charge” (1 Peter 5:3).

Fourth, Jesus taught His disciples not to lead by charismatic control. He continued, “and their great men exercise authority over them” (Matthew 20:25).

The expression “great men” (megaloi) carries the idea of being distinguished, eminent, illustrious, or noble. It represents those who have high personal appeal and have achieved high stature in the eyes of the world, and who seek to control others by personal influence. They can be seen as different in style from the “rulers.” Whereas the dominant dictator uses the sheer power of his position and is often hated, the charismatic leader uses the powers of popularity and personality. By flattery, charm, and attractiveness, he manipulates others to serve his own ends.

The church has never been without self-seeking leaders who capture the fascination of the people who willingly follow them while they make merchandise of the gospel in order to feather their nests and build up their reputations. By telling people what they like to hear (2 Timothy 4:3), they skillfully take advantage of selfish, gullible believers.

How to Be a Leader

Having instructed His disciples what they must not be if they desire to be good leaders, Jesus turned to give the positive instruction that He knew they needed. All of us will be inclined to sinful ways of leading in one way or another, whether it be by political power play, selfish ambition, dominant dictatorship, charismatic control, or a mix of those. Thus, Jesus gave a precept for godly leadership and a pattern for godly leadership for us to follow.

First, Jesus gave the precept of godly leadership. The Lord said to the disciples, “It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave” (Matthew 20:26–27).

Jesus turned the world’s notion of greatness upside down. The self-serving, self-promoting, self-glorying ways of the world are the antithesis of spiritual greatness. They have no place in God’s kingdom. The world’s way of greatness is like a pyramid. The prestige and power of the great person is built on the many subordinate persons beneath him. But in the kingdom, the pyramid is inverted.

Unfortunately, however, there are still many men in the church who, like James and John, continually seek recognition, prestige, and power by manipulating and controlling others to their own selfish advantage. A tragic number of Christian leaders and celebrities have gained great followings by appealing to people’s emotions and worldly appetites. But that is not to be so among Christ’s disciples today any more than it was among the twelve.

The Lord says we are to be servants. The original Greek word for “servant” was purely secular, referring to a person who did menial labor, such as house cleaning or serving tables. It was the lowest level of hired help, who needed little training or skill.

But the Lord went lower still: “Whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave” (v. 27). The work of a slave was much lower and more demeaning even than that of a servant. A slave did not belong to himself but to his master, and could go only where the master wanted him to go and do only what the master wanted him to do.

The cost of good leadership is humble, selfless, sacrificial service. The Christian who desires to lead in the kingdom is the one who is willing to serve in the hard place—where he is not appreciated and may even be persecuted. He is willing to work for excellence without becoming proud, to withstand criticism without becoming bitter, to be misjudged without becoming defensive, and to withstand suffering without succumbing to self-pity.

Second, Jesus gave the pattern of godly leadership. Verse 28 reads, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Jesus is the supreme example of humility and servanthood because, as the sovereign of the universe and of all eternity, He subjected Himself to humiliation and even to death by taking to Himself a human nature. He is the most exalted because He faithfully endured the most humiliation. Although He was the King of kings and had the right to be served by others, He ministered as a Servant of servants and gave His life to serve others.

Jesus’ ultimate act of servanthood was to give His life. “Greater love has no one than this,” He said, “that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). As Matthew 20:28 explains, He would vicariously suffer for the sins of His people as a ransom for them. Thus, He endured unparalleled humiliation and unimaginable torment for the eternal good of His people. Likewise, the kind of leadership men are called to involves willingly subjecting yourself to hardship for the good of others. It involves doing what is hard for their sake. Men must be willing to serve as Jesus did, if they are to be great leaders.

The commentator R. C. H. Lenski wisely observed, God’s great men are not sitting on top of lesser men, but bearing lesser men on their backs.^[1]R. C. H. Lenski, The Interpretation of St. Matthew’s Gospel (Minneapolis: Augsburg Publishing House, 1943), 791.

May God grant the church leaders with a servant’s heart—just like their Master’s.

(Adapted from The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: Matthew 16–23 and Divine Design)